NLP Therapy
While it can be argued that NLP is primarily about modeling human behavior, it remains true that the first subjects of study were experts in the field of psychotherapy. As a result, many of the models and techniques of NLP, perhaps a majority of those taught in basic trainings, have application in psychotherapy. A significant number of those who take NLP training do so because they are practitioners of psychotherapy, whether as psychologists, psychiatrists, MFCCs (i.e. Marriage, Family, and Child Counselors), social workers, pastors, or lay counselors. Given the historical importance of this area of application it is worth some discussion.
One sometimes hears reference to "NLP therapy" or an NLP approach to therapy. Strictly speaking, NLP does not dictate a specific approach to therapy, believing instead that it is always most beneficial to give the therapist as many options and flexibility as possible. As a result, most therapists find it easy to blend NLP models and techniques with whatever previous training they have to synthesize a personal style that works (better) for them.
Still, it is possible to summarize a set of psychotherapeutic principles, a default NLP approach that a practitioner may gather from NLP training, especially if they have had no previous training in other psychotherapeutic traditions.
Some of these principles are:
- The therapeutic interaction is a form of communication, and communication must be facilitated by establishing and maintaining
rapport with the client throughout the session. NLP provides systematic techniques for doing this.
- The most important parts of the client's behavior and of the therapeutic interaction, typically take place at the unconscious
level.
- The most important communications by both parties (both verbal and non verbal) also typically take place at an unconscious
ones. (Their conscious communication are more likely to be their cognitive understanding of their situation, often less complete
or quite different. Both must be taken into account)
- The client has all the internal resources he needs to carry out any solution to his problem. The client will always make the
best choice among the options available to him, so a general idea is to always give the client more choices and flexibility in
his behavior.
- Calibrate the client's problem state, i.e. learn to recognize it from the unconscious physiological signals. Throughout the
session be aware of what the client is communicating to you on all levels.
- The goal of therapy is whatever outcome the client wants. This is not as trivial as it at first sounds, since often the
client does not initially know what he wants -- that is, not consciously and not usually in the form of a well-formed goal for
purposes of therapy. NLP has a model called the Outcome Frame to gather this information, and to help frame for the client the
goals of the therapeutic session(s).
- In conjunction with the above, much human difficulty comes from poor communication, both with others and internally. Clarity
of both goal and process is important, vague goals or goals with hidden agendas are unlikely to be achieved. If the 'wrong' goal
is being worked on, it will either change as time goes on, or the client will let you know in various ways that the goal doesn't
really meet their needs. Vagueness of this kind can show in language, or non verbally.
- While gathering information, beware of assuming too much about the client's internal experience and about what they mean by
their words, since all human language is subject to distortion. One of the earliest NLP models addresses how to recognize
categories of possible distortion and how to gather accurate verbal information.
- Choose an appropriate level at which to address change. At one end of the spectrum, the client may only need to change his
physical environment. At the other end, he may need to fundamentally change his view of or beliefs about himself.
- Don't drag out into multiple sessions what can be addressed in a single session. Don't take an hour to do what can be done in
five minutes.
- Find the client's internal representations and/or processes which drive the problem behavior. If you change the
representations and/or the way they are processed, you will often change the behavior.
- Not everyone can go from where they are, directly to where they want (or need) to be. Often it's necessary to do basic ground
work or open up further possibilities peripherally, first. Because of this, sometimes it's possible to start from their
perception of the problem and address broader or deeper issues, but other times you can only do so much, wait for it to "bed in",
and see how it goes over time. Again, being respectful of their world view is the best guide.
- Check the ecology of any intended change, preferably before making it. That is, check as much as possible for
unintended consequences and internal conflicts. The client himself will give you this information if you gather it in the right
way. In practice, ecology checks should be done all along the way of a therapeutic session. All conflicting parts of the client
are to be honored and respected.
- Check that the desired change, or some part of it, has occurred before the session ends. Have the client test-run the problem
situation (usually through mental rehearsal) and verify that there is a difference in the problem state physiology by comparing
to what you calibrated initially in the session.
- You will run into situations in which the models you've been taught do not seem to work. When this happens, or anytime what
you are doing does not seem to work, try something else -- anything else -- until you get the outcome you are after.
- Have fun!
Beyond this sampling of general principles there are many specific techniques and patterns for specific situations and types of desired changes.
In terms of self-help, many of the NLP-derived techniques can be self-applied. But other techniques more or less require the assistance of another (skilled) person.
Mechanistic toolbox or humanistic?
NLP has spawned a 'toolbox' of techniques and methods, a collection of observations and patterns which seem to be useful to be aware of in human interaction. It's important to bear in mind that the tools and their use are two distinct issues. NLP by origin is pragmatic and looks for "what works". NLP as it has developed has a profound respect for the individual human being and for their life and their wellbeing.
However NLP when taught as a set of techniques directed at a specific goal, and especially when divorced from its full background, has at times been presented as mechanistic ("this is how to do that") or manipulative ("this is how to make someone do something"). In its full context, where a broad approach based upon the clients own wishes is paramount, these are not the case. When taught as "quick fix" or directed to a goal such as sales or seduction, these checks and balances integral to core NLP work often become omitted.
